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Birth Of a Friendship transcript
Scene 1 (Calvin is standing near a cottonwood tree. He grins at the tree and runs toward his house. He runs into the kitchen,where Mom is fixing dinner.) Calvin:Mom,can I have a tuna fish sandwich? Mom:Calvin,you hate tuna fish. Calvin:It's not for me. I'm going to rig a tuna fish sandwich under that cottonwood and catch a tiger! Mom:Calvin,I don't want you wasting any tuna. That stuff's expensive. Calvin:Dad's got a job! We can afford the loss of a few bits of fish! Mom:Forget it,Calvin. (Calvin curls his lip at Mom and runs outside. He pulls out two dollars,and runs to Bucky.) Calvin:Hey,Bucky. I'll pay you two bucks to go call the number 555-7486. Bucky:'Kay. (Bucky takes the money and runs to a payphone. Calvin goes into his house. He sits on the floor. Minutes later,the phone rings.) Mom:Hoo boy. (As soon as Mom leaves,Calvin takes some Wonder bread and Starkist tuna and starts making a sandwich.) Mom:He told you to WHAT?! (Calvin starts to work faster. He finishes as Mom comes in. He hides the sandwich behind his back.) Mom:Outside! Now! And quit telling kids to call the house! I'm very busy right now! Calvin:Yes,Mom. (slips outside) (Calvin ties the sandwich to a rope and hangs it from the cottonwood.) Scene 2 (The next morning,Calvin is going to check his trap and passes Dad) Calvin:So long,pop! I'm off to check my tiger trap! Dad:Hmmm? Calvin:I rigged a tuna fish sandwich yesterday,so I'm sure to have a tiger by now! Dad:They like tuna fish,huh? Calvin:Yup. Tigers will do anything for a tuna fish sandwich. (Calvin hears Hobbes's voice) Hobbes(V.O.):We're kinda stupid that way. (Calvin's eyes widen,and he runs to the tree. Hobbes is hanging from it.) Calvin:I CAUGHT ONE! I REALLY CAUGHT ONE! COOL! Hobbes:That's great. But could you untie me? This rope is breaking off circulation to foot. Calvin:Sure. (Calvin pulls out a dart gun.) Calvin:I can shoot you down! I'm an excellent aim. (Calvin shoots the dart gun and it pops Hobbes on the nose.) Calvin:Oops. Heh heh. I mean,I meant to do that. (Hobbes glares at him as he pulls off the dart.) Calvin:I'll just go get one of my mom's kitchen knives. (Hobbes' eyes widen.) Hobbes:Actually,I think I can do it. (Hobbes extends a claw,and cuts the rope. He falls to the ground. Calvin rubs his chin.) Calvin:Let's see,what do you do with a tiger when you catch one? Hobbes:Well,my uncle was caught,and took up a job in some circus work. Calvin:While I'm thinking about what to do with you,let's go to my place and show you around. Hobbes:How thrilling. (commercial break) Scene 3 (Calvin enters the house and walks up to Dad,who is now paying some bills.) Calvin:Dad,what do I do when I catch a tiger? Dad:Bring it home and stuff it Calvin. Can't you see I'm busy? (Calvin walks to the refridgerator. He pulls out eight Fantas,nine Papa Murphy's pizza's,fourteen hotdogs and more. Soon,the fridge is half empty with Hobbes munching on a hotdog.) Calvin:So,do you have a name? Hobbes:Yes,I suppose so. Calvin:Well,what is it,then? Hobbes:The Ultimate and Most Powerful Predator on Planet Earth,with Razor Sharp Teeth,Deadly Claws,and Urge to Kill Stuff,and Also Has Opposable Thumbs,and is Able to Stand Up on Two Legs. (Calvin pulls his head out of the fridge.) Calvin:What? Hobbes:Or just Hobbes for short. Calvin:Hobbes. Huh. Interesting name for a tiger. Hobbes:Yes,well,it's just my nickname. My real name is the Ultimate and Most... Calvin:OK,OK,OK! Do you want another sandwich? (Hobbes tosses a hot dog over his shoulder.) Hobbes:No,really,I couldn't eat another bite. (Calvin shuts the fridge.) Calvin:So,what do you wanna do? Hobbes:What do you usually do? Calvin:Nothing. My life has been one big bore from the beginning. (Hobbes stares at him.) Hobbes:Have you ever rode in a helicopter before? Calvin:No. Hobbes:Would you like to? Calvin:Of course,who wouldn't. Why? Hobbes:I have a helicopter outside. Calvin:No you don't. Hobbes:Yes I do. Calvin:No you don't. Hobbes:Yes I do. Calvin:No you don't. Hobbes:Yes I do. Calvin:No you don't. Hobbes:Yes I do. Calvin:No you don't. Hobbes:Um...No,I don't. Calvin:Yes you do. Hobbes:No I don't. Calvin:You DO! Hobbes:OK,OK,you win. Would you like to see it? Calvin:Do I ever! (They run to the garage.) Scene 4 (Once they arrive at the garage,they see the car.) Calvin:But it's just a car. Hobbes:Use your imagination. Calvin:You can't make something look different with your mind,Hobbes. Hobbes:Just try it. Calvin:Fine,I'll try it. (Space Oddity by David Bowie begins to play. The car transforms into a helicopter. Calvin hops in the driver's seat.) Calvin:Tower,this is Calvin One. Come in. (A voice comes out of the radio.) Voice:This is Tower,are you ready for lift off,Calvin One? Calvin:Check. (Calvin pushes the gearshift and the helicopter takes off. Cut to the sky where enemies are closing in on the helicopter. Calvin:Enemy pilot at 2:00. Hobbes:Roger,what should we do until then? Calvin:What? Hobbes:It's only 1:30. Calvin:That's not what I meant. (Calvin and Hobbes play in the helicopter until Dad tells them to get out and go to bed. Hobbes sees Calvin walk up the stairs,and turns away. Calvin notices.) Calvin:Hey,where are you going? Hobbes:Nowhere. Calvin:What do you mean,nowhere? Don't you have a home? Hobbes:No,I'm sort of a wanderer. Or whatever you call those people. Calvin:You don't have a home? That's terrible! Hobbes:You get used to it after a while. It's a lifestyle. Calvin:Why don't you live here? Hobbes:No,I can't. I'll be a burden. Calvin:Oh,shut up with the drama. You're living here and that's final! Hobbes:OK! (Hobbes leaps into Calvin's arms.) Calvin:Get off me! Hobbes:OK. (Hobbes gets off Calvin's arms.) Calvin:Now let's go to bed. Hobbes:Agreed. Oh,and Calvin? Calvin:Yes? Hobbes:Would you consider this as a friendship? Calvin:Sure. (Hobbes smiles,and walks up the stairs with his new friend.) End credits Cast Jackson Kelley as Calvin Taika Waitit as Hobbes Elizabeth Banks as Mom Bill Hader as Dad